Four Stages that Signal Divorce

When a marriage reaches a point where communicate has broken down to the point where repairing problems on a day to day basis is no longer possible, the death knell of the marriage has already begun to sound.

Relationship expert John Gottman has identified the final four stages that signal divorce is imminent:

  1. You see marital problems as severe.
  2. Talking things over feels useless—you solve problems yourself.
  3. You start leading parallel lives.
  4. Loneliness sets in.

By the time you get to these stages, the emotional separation is so acute that it is likely too late to salvage what is left of your relationship.

It’s not that healthy relationships are without conflict. Quite the contrary, conflict in relationships is inevitable and 65% of marital conflicts will never be resolved. Happy couples simply are able to work though the conflict and repair their relationship before negativity permeates all interaction.

It is so important to tune into one another every day to make your love last to ensure you will never have to find out what these stages feel like.

“Don’t ask the mountain to move; just take a pebble each time you visit.”
~ John Paul Lederach

“You can’t control the waves, but you can learn how to surf.”
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

“To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy…but it’s still allowed…and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”
~ Bill Watterson